It’s humbling learning another language because one is obliged to become like a child (which probably isn’t a bad thing). I was speaking with a friend from the states who has been here now for two years. I don’t get to see her often because, as most of us English speakers here know, we try not to mix much if we intend on immersing ourselves in the culture and learning the language. Not that we always to do this, but you know. She related how whenever she speaks French how she doesn’t feel like herself. That she feels like another person, one that really isn’t her. Listening to her I couldn’t help but agree. Not that I feel like another person when I speak French, but the moments when conversing when I have stopped in the middle of the conversation and thought, “I really am smarter than I sound.” Maybe this is what my friend was trying to tell me. That we really are smarter than we sound.

Then as I listen to the dialogue going on in my head, I hear the voices of my children. Their voices are vague but after a minute or two begin echoing like a video that is played back repeatedly on the same scene. The times when they have been unable to express themselves well even in English. The times when they have stumbled getting a thought out, or have mispronounced certain words because they have only read it but not heard it. At this I hear something that is barely audible to my ears. “Louder!” I say. I hear it again, but it isn’t much louder than before. It is saying how they too really are smarter than they sound and I am made to reflect on that until my emotions grow bigger than the list of entries in my dictionary.